We;come to September!

• Some manager at some point in my working career said, “If you’re sick enough to take a sick day, you’d better be sick enough to take two.” And by God his theory actually works.
• The ancient philosopher Socrates believed in using a complex questioning method to engage with his opponents, instead of simply arguing for the ideas that he had in mind; this makes this Older Than Feudalism. This method of debate gets so mind-blowingly annoying that it may have had more than a little to do with why Socrates was eventually sentenced to death by the people of Athens.

“hasn’t had much luck on the planet”? You have GOT to be kidding. The designed life of the rover was 90 martian days (just over 92 days here on Terra Firma), but it ended up lasting for 5 years.
That’s like saying that a man who was born in 410 A.D. and passed away last week lived with poor health!

• I’m in school learning criminal profiling, and it’s ALWAYS the white male in his 30′s or 40′s who have been abused as a child, because that’s the bulk of the population and normal people with happy childhoods don’t usually eat people’s extremities. Honestly, a monkey with a hat could predict most of these cases.
• You’re Pat Peaves arr know konsern ov myne.
• how is someone else decisions, that affect you in no way, any of your business?
• My grandmother collected clowns. As a child, I dreaded trips to her house as it would mean spending the night in the “clown room”. It was like living in an episode of “Night Gallery”. When she died last year, we gave them all away to Goodwill excepting the one I feared the most as a child. I’m keeping it in a box in my closet, just so I will always know exactly where it is.
• For that matter, if Doc was really all that Genre Savvy, he’d have added, “Oh, and bring along an extra jerry can of gas and some duct tape would you? And pretend you hadn’t thought to do so until after I go to the bank to change this note. If I add another PS, ignore it until it becomes relevant. Don’t try fix things before they happen.”
• I don’t know if “no inventory” is actually a solution to the “inventory problem”
• Remember that: The harder a place is to get into, the more valuable the security fittings are.

What do you mean that September starts tomorrow?

I always make time for a random, completely out of context and citationless quote or two.

• “Duct tape is like violence. Doesn’t work? Use more.”
• They figured it was best not to delve too deeply into the private affairs of a walking blender.
• I could not help but agree with this statement which, while true, is not entirely complete.
• Well, who would you rather put faith in? The worst Santa will do is deliver you coal instead of toys. Sure beats Old Testament wrath.

I’ve long wished for a gym for fat people- a “beginner gym”, as I’ve lovingly called this imaginary place in my mind- where I’d feel like I didn’t stand out, where I felt like the people there and I had something in common.

• In the meantime, I’ll continue to deal with this issue the same way I always have: never leave the country. Google will make me as multicultural as I need to be.

Simpler answer: just bury it in a deep hole somewhere in the salt flats of the Great Basin (or the alkali deserts of the Southwest, or the Atacama) – the chances are negligible that anyone would spend enough time there to get harmed!
This is actually probably the best idea. Put it somewhere that no one in their right mind would go to, let alone dig a large hole in.

• Pretty much all the technology in the movie was built to last through the ages. Say what you want about Buy-N-Large, they didn’t skimp on quality.
• “All that is very interesting, but I hope you know I was just a distraction.”
• “You had nothing, but you used it well.”

So concludes the quotes of June. See you folks in July!

If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance you’ve already missed wishing me a happy birthday.

• Congratz, you inspired even more violence in a country where it’s been a primary industry for a century.
• It sucks when someone “goes before their time” but I care about as much as she would had she heard that I died.
• Closing the barn door after the horse has unsuccessfully tried to ignite its saddle bomb.
• I grew up in Chicago. I thought the only qualification to be a cop there was the ability to grow a mustache.
• “apparently did not think her plan through very well”

They probably figured people would want to look more like bad-boy Kirk who gets promoted for making a dirty power grab than stuffy Picard or clever Shatner-era Kirk, both of whom develop elegant solutions to complex problems.

• Yes, that is in fact what happens when you spend millions of dollars to ensure a single group of people are denied their basic civil rights–people start disliking you.
• It is impossible to tell the difference between radical fundamentalism and good satire.
• The only reason you don’t care is that you didn’t get the chance to dismember her first.

They just don’t know enough about what we have to offer to know what they want. Explain natural bolide impacts to them. Tell them that this happens all the time on the moons of Jupiter. Tell them what happened to the Dinosaurs. Then point out that Humans are the only things in the known unverise that can prevent an asteroid impact. Protection in exchange for resources.

For those of you who did remember, you’re off the hook… for now.